What Solomon Says About Anger

Anger:  A natural, physical and emotional reaction to a perceived injustice

• Natural in that it is common to the human experience (not necessarily "Right")
• Emanates from and rooted in a God-like sense of injustice (from being created in His image)
• Emotional in that it's onset is not necessarily logical
• Perceived in that it may or may not be correct because of: Incomplete or inaccurate information

 Steps to processing anger:

1.  Call time out.  Proverbs 16:32

• Know your personal process time.  How long do I usually need?
• Ask for permission; schedule a "return time"

2.  Analyze and ask God for insight -  Proverbs 14:29; 15:1-2

• What is the source of my irritation?
• Is the level of my anger appropriate to the situation?
• Do I have all the information I need to respond effectively?
• Plan an appropriate, honorable and loving response.

3.  Overlook minor offences whenever possible.  Proverbs 19:11

• Discern between denial and self-control.

• Am I stuffing, rescuing or forgiving? Proverbs 19:19

• Is this eroding our relationship, and if so am I ready to process?

4.  Learn to fully and honestly forgive. Ephesians 4:32

• Admit you have been wronged.  Genesis 50:20
• Acknowledge offence without blame.
• Thank God He is allowing you to find freedom by exposing this.
• Confront wisely, gently and softly if necessary.

5.  Break undue associations with angry people.  (Not a spouse) Proverbs 22:24-25

See also:  Mark 11:25-26; Luke 17:3; Matt 18:15-19; Ephesians 4:25-32

When Others Are Angry With Me

1.  Listen to their frustration.

2.  Listen again to their frustration.

3.  Ask questions and clarify their frustration.  Proverbs 17:27

• Diffuses anger
• Gives you time to prepare a wise response
• Gives you appropriate information for discernment

4. Identify with their frustration. 

• "I understand your feeling...."

5. Take 100% of your responsibility. Proverbs 28:13

• It may seem like a very small percentage of the problem.
• Prepare to be rejected, but expect to be accepted.

Our apology must include...

• I was wrong (when I) (to) (for)______________________
• I understand this caused___________________________
• I am truly sorry.
• Will you forgive me?

Be prepared to go back through and allow the offended party to vent further, add offence or clarify the hurt.  Add the clarification and start again.  Do not take responsibility for their actions or inappropriate attitude or behavior, but take ALL you can take responsibility for honestly. (+1%)

Some other questions for thought and further study:

• Justified Anger?
• Anger with God?
• Anger associated with grief?